Las Vegas or Bust
by Stretch Snodgrass
Summary: Sabrina's going to get married. But not before facing a mobster, Roland, and her Aunt Irma. Takes place right after the end of the series. Edited. Reviews are greatly appreciated.
1. A proposal

_Somewhere on Highway 147_

Sabrina had left her wedding, or "almost wedding," almost an hour before. After realizing Harvey was her soul mate, the world had become confused.

Sabrina vaguely remembered leaving the church, waving goodbye, and her Aunts Hilda, Zelda (in candle form) and Salem all saying "Its about time."

"It is about time," Sabrina thought.

Then she realized she was with Harvey, speeding along a country highway, in her wedding dress, and . . . and . . . . "Harvey?" she asked.

"Yeah, Sabrina?" he replied.

"Where are we going?" Sabrina wondered. She felt like it was time to ask. Harvey stunned, slammed the breaks, and pulled over. He didn't know the answer either.

"Sabrina," he said. "I love you."

"Harvey," she told him. "I love you too."

_A short time earlier . . . ._

Zelda was back to her old adult self.

In her deal with the Witches Council, to allow Sabrina's mother to visit her, she had given up her childhood years.

"Smooth move, Zellie," Hilda had said.

"That's why I let you volunteer me to be the candle so easily," Zelda told her.

She coughed up some wax.

"Ugh," she frowned. "I'll never get the taste of wax out of my mouth.

_Watching T. V. _

Right now, Aunt Zelda was smiling, "Isn't that sweet?" she said.

Zelda, Hilda, and Salem were back at the old Spellman house, in the living room, and spying on Sabrina and Harvey, through the good services of the Mortal Channel.

"Remember, it was my idea to come here and spy on them. Lucky thing Morgan had a date, and Roxie had a protest," said Hilda.

"Sweet?" said Salem. "All this mush is killing me. If your gonna use this thing how about you watch a high speed chase. Especially one with a lot of gore."

"I'll gore you in a moment," said Hilda, zapping him quiet. "I can't hear what's going on."

_Outside of Nathan Ferris's Hog Farm . . . ._

"Sabrina," said Harvey, "I though we'd sort of elope. Unless eloping's not your thing, and we can make this a date."

"Harvey, is that a proposal?" asked Sabrina, delighted.

"Yes, it is," he said, getting off the motorcycle and kneeling awkwardly. "Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," said Sabrina. They kissed. "You know, I was thinking we were going to elope too."

"Cool," said Harvey, with a stupid grin.

("You've saw what you wanted to see," said Salem, Hilda having given his voice back. "Will you sniffling old witches give me the remote?")

"Cool," said Sabrina. "You know, this is the way I've always pictured it. Except I didn't think it would be on the shoulder of Highway 147 near a pig barn."

"Sorry I don't have a ring, Sabrina," said Harvey.

"Yes you do, Harvey," said Sabrina, zapping up a ring. "Remember the promise ring you gave me, five years ago."

She handed it to Harvey, who then put it on her finger. They kissed. "So where are we going to elope? Atlantic City? New Hampshire?"

"Uh, Las Vegas, where else?" asked Harvey.

"Okay, it's a little far to go on a motorcycle, and in a wedding dress, but I'm game if you are," said Sabrina, happily. "Wait, I can do something about the dress," said Sabrina, zapping herself into a leather jacket and leather skirt. "By the way Harvey, where did you get this bike?"

"I pointed it up when your Aunt Irma gave me your magic. It's a Harvey Davidson, I was aiming for a Harley Davidson, but it came out personalized. Which is sort of cool- unless Harley Davidson finds out and decides to sue."

"Cool," said Sabrina. "I won't tell him," Sabrina thought, "that you couldn't zap a brand name no matter how hard you try."

They hugged and kissed again. Then they went on the bike, and headed toward Las Vegas.


	2. An unwelcome guest

_Near Buffalo _

Some time later, and hundreds of miles down the highway, they stopped at a roadside diner.

One of those roadside diners in the middle of nowhere, the ones that used to be a streetcar.

"Sort of like the one that opened in Westbridge last year," thought Sabrina. "Like the one I hung out at after Aunt Hilda closed her coffee house, and started working at Scorch magazine."

She was interrupted in her thoughts by the waitress, a middle aged, heavy-set woman.

"What would you like, honey?" she asked.

"Well I don't want honey," said Sabrina, as the waitress gave a tolerant smile. "But I will have some of your all day pancakes, no, never pancakes, I mean your all day French toast."

"Yeah, sure, honey. And you?" she asked Harvey.

"I'll have your Quintuple Decker Sandwich," he answered. "With everything on it."

"And I'll have," said a voice from the backpack beside Sabrina, "the Tuna surprise."

"Salem!" said both Sabrina and Harvey at once.

"No, honey, your south of Buffalo, your not in Salem," said the waitress, calmly.

"Thanks," Sabrina said, as the waitress gave them a look. The waitress left. Harvey stared at Salem with eyes bugged out.

"What are you doing here?" whispered Sabrina angrily.

"How did you get here?" asked Harvey, still bug eyed.

"Just tagged along. Anyway, what's with this Las Vegas kick? You know how irritating it is to travel three thousand miles in a knapsack? Why not go to Niagara Falls, it's the honeymoon capital of the world, it has a couple of casinos. Why not shuffle off to Buffalo?

"I'll shuffle you off," said Sabrina, zapping Salem, only to find that he didn't disappear.

"Sorry Sabrina, your Aunt Zelda zapped me here with a yenta spell. I'm your Aunt appointed chaperone until you get to Vegas. And I get to the blackjack tables and the slot machines, yeah.

"Where do you and Aunt Zelda come off doing this to me?" asked Sabrina.

"Your Aunt Zelda has 14th century ideas about these things, mainly because that old maid is from the 14th century. As for me, do you think I want to stay around you mushy love birds? I wanted you to marry Harvey, but I didn't want to tag along while you eloped."

"That makes two of us," said Sabrina.

"Three," said Harvey, getting over his shock.

"Don't worry Sabrina, I'll make it up to you," said Salem.

How are you gonna make it up Salem? Give me some more of the birthday money you stole?" asked Sabrina sarcastically.

"Nope. Got an old friend in Las Vegas. Owns the The Sharper Juice Joint Hotel. Bugsy Sharper. He'll put you up for free."

"What's the catch?" asked Sabrina suspiciously.

"No catch," said Salem. "Here's the brochure."

Salem threw a glossy maroon pamphlet out of the knapsack. Sabrina and Harvey looked at it. It featured a gangster holding a machine gun, with shoes in concrete, on the front sign. The building itself was a large art-deco high rise. Picture showed the hotel's large casino, fancy dining room, some other restaurants, and a bar featuring, besides the drinks, flappers dressed less than real flappers ever dressed. It showed pictures of large, luxurious rooms, with twenties style furniture. The whole hotel looked as if it had been zapped out of the nineteen twenties.

"You see," said Salem. "That's why the Aunts sent me, so I can get Bugsy to give you the hospitality of the house. Or else do you want to go a dump like the Flamingo Economy Roadside Inn," he said throwing out of the knapsack an ad for an old run-down motel.

Harvey was still studying the first brochure. 'Seems like, overall, it's a pretty cool place. I'm okay with it, if you are Sabrina."

"Hot Dawg," said Sabrina, speaking like a flapper. "I never thought I'd want to honeymoon at a glorified speakeasy, but this place, is a real ritzy joint. It's the bees knees.

"Cool," said Harvey.

"No, the sandwich is piping hot," said the waitress, returning with their food. "And honey, I wouldn't blab so loud about secretly eloping if I were you, it simply isn't traditional."

"Thanks," said Sabrina. "It isn't. That is unless we want to make a new tradition."

The waitress didn't get the humor.

"Hey, can we get an order of the Tuna Surprise?" asked Harvey, grateful to Salem for the free hotel stay.

"Okay, but you'll be surprised when you get it. And it won't be a pleasant one."

"That okay, I won't be eating it. I mean, I'll be eating it, only I won't be eating it if I not going to eat it. I mean, . . . " Harvey forgot his explanation.

Sabrina hit her forehead with her hand.

"One Tuna Surprise," said the waitress, writing it down. "You know, you two elopers are made for each other, your both strange. But then again, I've had stranger." She left, unfazed.

"Sorry, Sabrina. But in my defense, I haven't really had much experience with these explanations. You should of heard the zucchini jam one I fed Morgan."

"Or the methane-in-your-office excuse I gave Mr. Kraft. You'll get used to it. It's not as if the local paper's gonna write "Passing Biker Orders Tuna Surprise Suspiciously."


	3. Bugsy Sharper

_Las Vegas_

A few days, and thousands of miles later, Sabrina and Harvey biked into the bright lights, large crowds, blasting music, and showgirls that was Los Vegas.

"This is my town," shouted Salem, ogling some girls that were leaving one of the hotels.

"Not unless someone's built some kitty casinos," said Sabrina.

They continued to drive down the strip.

"Sabrina, do you want to get married at the drive through chapel? I'm game if you are. But my mom probably wants me to send her some pictures of an indoor wedding." Harvey said as they passed by.

"Spend the most important moment of my life on your bike, wed by some Elvis impersonator. It's not exactly what I had planned."

"You two can get married at the hotel. I can be minister, best man, organist, photographer, or all four combined." Salem told them.

They drove up to the Sharper Juice Joint. It had valet parking. "Can I take your bike, sir?" asked the valet, a young Englishman wearing a pinstriped suit, and sporting a crooked fedora.

"It's brand new, no way I'm gonna part with it" Harvey realized the meaning of the question. "Oh yeah, ah, sorry sir, I'm a bit overprotective of my bike, it's brand new."

"So I see, sir," the valet said drolly.

Salem edged in. "We want to see Bugsy Sharper. Tell him its his old friend Salem Saberhagen."

"And he's carrying a black cat. And his girl, who he's-I'm going to marry," added Harvey."

"I'll tell him. Won't you wait to be paged in the hotel lobby, sir and madame," the valet said.

The hotel lobby was exactly what you'd expect to see in Los Vegas. It was large, and the entrance to the Casino was off to the side, and the bar to the other. The lobby was made to look like a "Sharper Juice Joint," the place looked like a very large, very opulent version of a twenties speakeasy. The front desk looked like a bar. The furniture were all from the twenties, and so were the paintings and the chandeliers. Sabrina was reminded of the Halloween Mystery Train.

"Not exactly my choice for a hotel, but - why not? It's fancy, I don't see any cockroaches, seems great."

"Cool," said Harvey. "This is a lot better than the Roadside Economy Flamingo Inn. But even that dump would be great if I was there with you." They kissed again.

A bellboy came up. "Mr. Sharper will see you three immediately." They followed the bellboy across the lobby, to a private elevator on the far side. They rode the mirrored, mahogany car up to the penthouse. The bellboy led them to a set a double doors, and knocked. Then he retreated, ran is more like it, toward the elevator.

The doors opened, revealing a large, very long office with old time furniture. At the end of the office, there was a large desk. Sabrina, Harvey and Salem were zapped right to the desk.

"Alright," said Sabrina. "I was going to walk, but this is better."

"Bugsy, pal, is it you?" asked Salem.

"Salem," said Bugsy, swivelling around. He was wearing a striped suit, smoking a cigar. His long face was scarred in three different places. "Long time, no see. Haven't met you since your world domination plans fall through."

"So the bulls got me. Been having a pretty good racket, served on hands and knees by two over the hill broads. That is until this tomato took over my care and feeding."

Realizing Sabrina was giving him a dirty look he added, "When I say tomato, I mean sweet, intelligent young woman."

"About time you've come to my joint," said Bugsy Sharper. "Feel free to use the bar, the casino, have a bunk, I'll loan you a showgirl to carry you around. This ain't no dump, or flophouse. I've got the best of anything in both realms. If I don't, I have one of my boys round it up, make some one an offer they can't refuse, if you get my drift."

"You sure go out with this gangster routine," said Harvey.

"Yeah, and I thought me and my aunts went all out for Halloween. Your hotel . . ."

"Ixnay on the gangsterday," hissed Salem. Sharper's smile turned into a leer. Both Sabrina and Harvey shut up.

"You two stoolies seem like nice kids, your not stoolies are ya?"Bugsy said friendly. "Good," he added, reading the expressions on their faces. Then, he added, more friendly, "You getting married?"

"I was wondering if you'd put 'em up a night or two," said Salem. "Come on Bugsy, dooo it. For your old pal Salem."

"Yeah sure, why not? It's the off season. Tell you what, I'll have the chapel booked, and even give you the bridal suite. It ain't booked, so you can rest easy I'm not going to bump anyone off-I mean cancel their reservations-to do it. But if you want any drinks, want to get splifficated or something, zap up your own liquor, it ain't covered."

Salem, Harvey and Sabrina thanked him. Sabrina thought to herself, "You know, besides being a witch, when I was a kid I never thought I'd be friends with a guy who tried to take over the world, and having the man who probably had a hand in the St. Valentines Day massacre cater my wedding."

"If you excuse me a moment," said Bugsy, "I have an urgent appointment in the other realm."

"See, what did I tell you," said Salem.

"I didn't know staying at your own friend's hotel would mean have the criminal underworld involved in my wedding," observed Sabrina.

"His name's Bugsy," shrugged Harvey. "I guess it should of been obvious."

Bugsy returned, "So its a deal?" he said.

They agreed.

"Ain't that twenty-three skidoo. I have another old friend who want's to meet you."

Sabrina wondered "Who is it? Al Capone? Meyer Lansky? Bugsy Siegel? That gangster from the Warner Brothers Cartoons?"

It was Cupid, Sabrina recognized him from the time he had saved her from Roland the troll and the time she tried to put a love spell on her Aunt Hilda.

"You know, I figured that you two would be the last people in the world who would ever be friends."

"Love is love, but business is business," Cupid replied.

"Cupid?" said Harvey, who didn't know him.

"Yes, you know, the diaper and the arrows," explained Cupid. "Anyway, wanted to stop by and say hello.

"Hello," said Salem.

"Enough of this," said Bugsy. "Can I have the arrow?"

"Yes," said Cupid. "The moment this super-strength Class A arrow strikes the showgirl, for 24 hours she'll be crazy about with the first man she sees." He gave Bugsy the arrow, and disappeared. Bugsy put the arrow on his desk, beside Salem.

"Now, you three goofs, if you'd excuse me, I have business to attend to," said Bugsy.

He zapped up a barely-dressed flapper, the one that were featured so prominently in the brochure.

Salem's eyes bugged out. So did Harvey's.

"Ooh, what am I doing here, Bugsy?"

"I have something for you, baby doll," said Bugsy deftly moving toward the girl, arrow ready.

"He's gonna make her . . . with that arrow?" asked Harvey, disgusted.

"Why?" said Salem. "Do you think he blew all that moolah on an ordinary arrow."

"Not if I can help it," said Sabrina.

She zapped Bugsy as he was ready to stab the girl. He tripped.

"Not smart," muttered Salem.

"Bugsy! You was going to stab me?" The girl was indignant. "I quit."

She picked up the arrow, stabbed him in the behind, and walked off . . . as Bugsy flew ten feet into the air, hit the ceiling, and fall flat-on-his face, on top of his large mahogany desk.

Painfully, he raised his head, and glared angrily . . . then sappily at Sabrina.


	4. Tommy gun wedding

"Sabrina, what have you done?" asked Salem. "Sabrina, the second rate sorceress strikes again."

"Why, what's the worst that can happen?"Sabrina asked.

"He'll love you for a day?" guessed Harvey.

"You'll lose the hotel, and the free eats," added Salem.

"I love you Sabrina," said Bugsy. "I adore you, I'm crazy about you, won't you marry me?"

"That's right, I won't marry you," said Sabrina.

"Play for time," whispered Salem, "Set the wedding for tomorrow. Doo it. And buy all sorts of mink coats and mansions on his credit cards."

"No way," said Harvey. "Sabrina and me didn't just get together after five years apart so we could break up. I'm not going to lose her again."

"Sap. What's a mortal like you gonna do about it?" said Bugsy.

"I hate to use this kind of language," said Harvey, "But I'm going to turn your face black and blue if you even touch Sabrina." He put up his dukes and got ready to slug Bugsy.

"Kid, your asking to be knocked off," warned Bugsy, zapping up a gun (by punching his right fist into the palm of his left hand).

"Not while I'm around," said Sabrina, "My boyfriend's death I cannot bear, glue this gangster to his chai-"

Bugsy was too quick, and with another zap, Sabrina's hands and feet were incased in concrete. With another zap, Harvey was gagged and wearing a pair of cement shoes. A third zap saw Salem encased in a cement block, up to his neck.

"Ever heard of a machine gun wedding?" Bugsy asked Sabrina.

"Don't you mean a shotgun wedding?" Sabrina replied.

"I MEAN MACHINE GUN!" Bugsy yelled. "TODAY, AT 2:00!"

"You know Salem," said Sabrina, "your right. I really need to thank you for getting me encased in concrete, engaged to your friend Bugsy, and then married against my will."

"Calm down Sabrina," said Salem. "Remember Diamond Dave? This isn't the first time you've been imprisoned at a Casino."

"But it'll be the first time you'll be barbequed!"

Salem sobbed.

In the meantime, Harvey had freed himself from the gag. "You'll never get away with this," threatened Harvey.

Bugsy laughed. "Your gonna stop me?" He took a cigar out of his jacket, and lit it. Then he smirked.

"How'd you like to be the best man, kid. Hold the tommy gun on Sabrina?"

Bugsy punched his hand a number of times, and produced what sounded like, and looked like machine gun bullets, that hit Harvey dead on.

"Harvey," screamed Sabrina, closing her eyes. "I swear Bugsy, this is one murder . . ."

"Whose been bumped off?" asked Harvey, in a New York accent. Sabrina opened her eyes. Harvey was wearing a striped suit, was carrying a machine gun, and except for being out of his cement shoes, looked exactly like the gangster on the sign of the hotel.

"I made him into one of my's associates," said Bugsy to Sabrina. "He's now one of my hard boiled subordinates who'll do everything I say." To Harvey, he added, "Hey, Palooka, I want's you's to aim the chopper at Sabrina."

"Sure, boss." Harvey aimed the gun at Sabrina.

"Oh, we're all down for now," sobbed Salem. "Someone save the cat."

"Now's for the cat," added Bugsy. "I have a pit bull kennel out back," he said, zapping up a pit bull kennel. "Kid, throw Salem to the dogs." Bugsy zapped the concrete off of Salem, tying him in steel chains.

"Yeah, boss," said Harvey grabbing Salem by the neck and carrying him from the room.

"Well," said Sabrina sarcastically, "At least one thing good happened today. HELP!"

"That never works," said Bugsy.

"Never hurts to try," Sabrina retorted.


	5. Kinkle the killer

_Meanwhile_

Harvey had carried the crying Salem out of the office, and into, directly beside the elevator. To Salem's surprise, Harvey placed the cat down on an table outside the elevator door, and untied him.

"Hey, cat, how's about you tell me how we can save Sabrina, before she and Bugsy go down the aisle?"

"Your still you . . . sort of?" asked Salem.

"Who's else would I be?" asked Harvey. "I faked going along with the boss's order so I'd be able to save Sabrina. Did I just, er, just call Bugsy Sharper the boss?

"Forget it. Phone Hilda and Zelda"

"Where can I find them two dames?"

"Phone Sabrina's house. Their probably still there."

Harvey picked up the phone on the table.

_At the Spellman House_

"I'll get it," said Morgan, as she ran to the phone, and picked it up.

She was expecting an important call from her pedicurist.

"Them two tomatoes, Hilda and Zelda there?" Harvey asked her. "I'm at Sharper's Juice Joint, tell 'em I want to talk to 'em. stat."

"Who was that?" asked Roxie, after Morgan had hung up the phone.

"Oh some guy," said Morgan. "I think he want's a date with Sabrina's aunt's, I think he's calling from some place called 'Sharper's Juice Joint.'" I told him their out, but they'd be back, for sure. Ever since Sabrina ran off with Harvey they've been hanging around here like they owned the place."

"Morgan, they do own the place," answered Roxie.

"Since when?" asked Morgan.

_Back in Las Vegas_

Harvey told Salem the aunts were out.

"Plan B," said Salem. "We rush Bugsy, and hope we don't get slaughtered."

They burst into Bugsy's office, only to find that he had left. Sabrina was still there, but the concrete had been replaced but a ball and chain manacled to her left ankle, and her fingers were encased together in a Chinese finger trap.

"I'm a gonna rescue you babe," Harvey told Sabrina, running to her, and removing the Chinese finger trap. Sabrina zapped away the ball and chain.

"Thanks Harvey," said Sabrina. "But how did you escape the spell . . ."

"What spell, doll?" he asked her. Then he dipped her and kissed her. "Only spell I'm under is yours, I'm all goofy for you."

"Your goofy all right," said Sabrina. "Harvey, we've got to get out of here. Bugsy's gonna be back from the Casino in any minute. Let's get your wheels and scram," Sabrina got ready to zap them out. Harvey?

Harvey was struggling under some strange impulse. He kept wincing, gritting his teeth together, and trying to shake something out of his head. He wasn't able to do it.

"Bugsy's not gonna escape what he's tried to do to you," said Harvey angrily. "I'm gonna use my chopper to put some daylight into him."

He ran from the room.

"All right, I've been rescued from the gangster, but now my boyfriend's speaking like a gangster and is about to go on a murderous rampage through a Los Vegas Hotel," said Sabrina to herself. "That's a new one, even for me."

Sabrina heard the elevator ding at their floor. Thinking quickly, Sabrina zapped the elevator out of order, after Harvey had went in, trapping him inside. "That'll buy me some time" she thought. Then, she asked, exasperated "Salem, what's going on?"

"Bugsy tried to put a goon spell on Harvey," explained Salem. It should of made Harvey one of Bugsy's hired goons, who'd do anything he said. It didn't work the way it should of, Harvey kept his personality, except somehow it warped into one of a gangster. And if your gonna ask me how to reverse it, Sabrina, it can't be reversed because it didn't hold properly in the first place."

"Why didn't it work?"

"Either cause the old "you can't use magic to destroy true love rule," (Sabrina smiled) or simply because Harvey's had so many spells put on him he's built up a partial immunity to magic."

"What'll I do? If Harvey ends up on the chair, someone else is also gonna be fried."

"Ghe?" said Salem. After a moment's thought, he said, "I think I know what you can do. Harvey knows who he is, sort of, and that he loves you. He's smart enough to know he's under a spell. All you have to do is explain to him he's under a spell, take away his gun, and keep him under control until he's back to normal."

"Great," said Sabrina.

"Good luck," said Salem.

"Oh, its nice of you to face Bugsy when he comes back up here and finds that I'm gone."

"Like I said," said Salem, "I'm going with you." He sobbed.

Sabrina and Salem went to the elevator, only to find Harvey had opened the elevator doors (likely by pushing the elevator door open button), and escaped, probably down the stairs. Sabrina zapped herself to the lobby, "Good," she said. "He's not here yet."

Her joy was short lived, in a moment Harvey came charging out of the stairwell, machine gun in hand. The people in the lobby screamed.

"HA HA HA," laughed Sabrina loudly, but hollowly. "SHAKER'S JUICE JOINT SURE GOES ALL OUT WITH THESE PRANKS. HE LOOKS JUST LIKE THE GANGSTER ON THE SIGN OUTSIDE."

Harvey was holding up the desk clerk by machine gun, "Where's the boss?" he snarled. The desk clerk stared at him. "Bugsy Shaker." he added.

"T-the private dining room," the desk clerk stammered.

Harvey, with Sabrina (carrying Salem) hot on his heels, ran to the private dining room.

Bugsy was talking to the chef. On seeing them come in, he zapped the chef back to the kitchen.

"What're you doing kid. I ordered ya to throw the cat to the dogs, and I didn't tell ya to let the tomato go." He noticed Harvey had the machine gun pointed at him. "You keep this up, kid, and yous is headin' to the big sleep."

"Naw Boss, but you's are," Harvey answered, firing. Sabrina zapped the gun, so that it could only shoot water. Bugsy, who had already magically shielded himself against bullets, was caught off guard, as the water sprayed him in his face.

Sabrina saw her chance. "Until his crush on me dies away, he'll want to marry me every day. To survive this I have to have a Bugsy Sharper who is meek, make him a mime for a week." "Won't remember a thing," thought Sabrina to herself.

Suddenly, Bugsy Sharper turned into a mime. He started to walk against the wind.

"A fate worse than death," Salem observed.

Harvey, who had been looking in the barrow of his gun, turned to the mime in surprise. Sabrina took her chance, zapped away the gun, and once again encased Harvey's shoes in cement.

"Hey, baby doll. What did ya do that for?" asked Harvey.

"First of all, the name's Sabrina. Second of all, Harvey, you've got to realize your under a spell, before I let you go. That is, unless you want to become Public Enemy Number One."

After a little explaining, Sabrina felt confident enough to release Harvey from the cement, and zap him back into his old clothes.

"Doll - I mean Sabina . . . doll. I'm gonna keep myself under control." Harvey told her.

"No need," said Sabrina. "Important thing is that we're together and Bugsy's trapped in a box."

Bugsy was miming out that he was trapped in a box.

"So how's long is it doll, I mean Sabrina, that I'm gonna be a hard boiled egg?" asked Harvey.

"Well I'm not sure what you said," said Sabrina, "but hope my Aunt's come to take it off soon. No way I you to tell me at the alter that me marrying you is an offer I can't refuse."

"Why," said Salem indignantly, "that's exactly what I told my first wife. All in the spirit of fun, of course."

"Meanwhile," said Harvey, "How's about I blow some moolah on eats for us two."

"That's sweet," said Sabrina. "I hate the way you said it, but its still sweet."

"Copacetic," said Harvey.

"How about eats for the cat?" asked Salem.

"Spend some time with your old friend," Sabrina said. Salem sobbed as they left. He had nothing to do but watch Bugsy Sharper mime a wall.


	6. Zelda zaps again

Some time later Sabrina and Harvey were eating dinner at the hotel restaurant.

"It's the worst date I've ever had," thought Sabrina, glumly.

Harvey had threatened to kill the busboy, drown the waiter, and beat up the cook, all before sitting at the table. Sure, he had apologized to everyone as soon he realized what he had said, but still.

"Sorry, Sabrina," Harvey muttered again, after mistakenly asking her to give him back his machine gun.

"It's all right, Harvey," said Sabrina, annoyed, putting down her "English-Bad Jazz Age and Hard Boiled Slang Dictionary."

"Look doll, I mean, Sabrina," said Harvey, "I know things ain't been real swell but things is gonna improve soon. Soon as I can stops being hip to the jive."

He winced.

"Man, that ain't the ways I meant to say it doll . . . Sabrina."

"Things is swell," said Sabrina. "I mean are swell, whew, this talk is contagious. The only thing that's important is that we're here together, and alone . . ." They were alone no longer, Hilda and Zelda had appeared.

"Hi Sabrina," said Aunt Hilda. "Morgan told us you had someone call for us. I thought it was weird, but then Zelda found out you were sitting in the hotel dining room, and I figured you called me to help celebrate. Bring on the buffet!"

"Aunt . . ." said Sabrina, exasperated.

"Sabrina," said Aunt Zelda quickly, "I know your upset we sent Salem to chaperone. We did it for your own good. Besides, Los Vegas being expensive these days, . . ."

"Not like the summer of fifty eight," interrupted Hilda.

" . . . we thought it would be a good idea to have Salem get you a free room and reception."

"Harvey," said Sabrina, "say something."

"You sure, Sabrina . . . dame?" asked Harvey.

"Yes," said Sabrina.

"Glad you two ripe tomatoes came out to this joint," said Harvey. "How about you broads join us, and we'll pull a soup job, blast open a tin can at the Federal Savings."

Hilda and Zelda stared at him. "Sabrina," asked Zelda, "when did Harvey start doing gangster imitations?"

"Bad gangster imitations," added Hilda.

Sabrina zapped everyone at the table into the private dining room next door. Bugsy, the mime, mimed out giving Sabrina a rose. Salem was watching from a nearby table, beside the machine gun, in agony, on the verge of throwing up.

"This is cruel and unusual punishment," he sobbed.

"We have a cat, a mime, a gangster, a machine gun, and an unhappy bride, in the dining room" said Hilda. "Which means I'm clueless and have no idea what's going on."

"I have a feeling," said Zelda, "the feline is somehow involved."

"Let me tell you the whole story," said Sabrina, telling them the whole story.

"I should of known any crony of Salem's was a crook," said Zelda, ten minutes later.

"The name Bugsy should of been a dead give away," said Hilda. "Wait, I was one of Salem's cronies. Does this make you think I'm a crook?"

"Never mind," said Zelda. "First thing we do is try to get rid of that spell."

In about a half an hour Zelda had rounded up all the necessary ingredients. A hoover (a vacuum), a kinescope film of an episode of the untouchables, a copy of the twenty-first amendment, an old copy of the New York Penal Code, eye of newt, water and calcium carbonate. "Salem, you have experience with these types of spells, as much as I'll regret asking you to do it, you say the incantation."

"Here we have a third rate crook, at him the judges would throw the book, he ain't cut out for crime, bud, turn him back into a shlub," Salem said gleefully. With a puff of smoke, Harvey returned to normal.

"Great," he said. "Now I can stop thinking about robbing the First National Bank,"

"Did you have plans?" asked Salem. "Tell me, Tell, me."

"Forget it," said Sabrina.

"The only plans I have," said Harvey, "include Sabrina."

"The only plans I have on my mind," said Sabrina, "is wedding bells, preferably someplace not owned by the same crook who tried to force me to marry him, turn Harvey into one of his associates."

"That'll have to wait," said a women appearing out of nowhere. "This is a summons from the witches council." She handed the notice to Sabrina, and disappeared.


	7. Roland's revenge

Chapter 7

"What's this for?" asked Sabrina, reading the letter. "You are ordered to appear before a court before you can be married, due to a complaint filed under the 'hearing of hesitating three'"

"Did you say the hearing of the hesitating three or the hearing of the haunted trees," asked Hilda. "I wasn't paying attention."

"Could I see that?" asked Zelda, reading the paper. "This is serious, Sabrina. The witches council won't let you get married until after the hearing because of the rules of three."

"But Sabrina isn't even in violation of the rules of three. And who's going to complain?" asked Hilda.

"What rule of three?" asked Sabrina. "Am I always the last one to be told these things?" "Magic's always ruining my life," Sabrina thought bitterly.

"I'll explain it to you in court, Sabrina," said Zelda quickly. "Right now we have to leave, the judge doesn't like to be kept waiting." She zapped all of them, except Bugsy Sharper, out of the room.

"We're back in the penthouse," said Harvey, confused.

"Shh," said Zelda and Hilda, pushing Sabrina and Harvey, and carrying Salem, to Bugsy Sharper's desk.

"Courts about to start," said Zelda.

In the next second, the witch judge appeared with his desk and gravel, the complainant, a tall man hidden in a trench coat, wearing a fedora hat and dark glasses appeared with his lawyer at another desk. The women who delivered the summons reappeared, sitting down at her seat, and typing at an old fashioned typewriter, suspended in midair.

"This hearing, called on account of the rule of the hesitating three, is now in session," said the Judge. He looked at Sabrina. "Do you know why you are here, Sabrina?"

"At the risk of sounding disrespectful your honor," said Sabrina. "I don't, and I don't see why the court wants to interfere with my life."

"Has anyone told you, Sabrina, of the rule of the hesitating three?" asked the Judge.

"I was about to, your honor," said Zelda.

"Me too," said Hilda.

"I was way ahead of them, both, your honor," said Salem.

"Tell her then," said the judge.

"Sabrina, when a witch cancels his or her wedding on three separate occasions, someone can complain to the witches council." Zelda glanced at the figure in the trench coat, "and the witch must then go through a hearing before they are allowed to marry."

"What if I don't?" asked Sabrina.

"Then you won't be able to marry Harvey," said Hilda. "Or if you do, you'll both be made into haunted trees. Or you'll be made into plant food and fed by leprechauns to haunted trees."

"That's not just weird," said Sabrina, "That's wrong."

"A haunted tree?" Harvey asked Salem.

"A tree, that's haunted. What did you think it was?" replied Salem sarcastically.

"Getting back on topic," said Sabrina. "I only cancelled one wedding, with Aaron. Where do you get three?"

"The time Aunt Irma tried to marry you off. You cancelled that wedding," said Hilda.

"That's two," said Zelda. "Do you think they mean the marriage to Bugsy?"

"But I never agreed to marry him," said Sabrina.

"It's not the marriage to Bugsy Sharper," said the witch Judge, zapping a film into the room. The film showed Sabrina signing a contract in her old room, on top of a dwarf's head. Salem laughed.

"ROLAND," yelled Sabrina. "I never wanted to marry Roland."

"Yes, dear," said Zelda, "but you were contractually obligated to."

"You were going to marry your cousin?" asked Harvey.

"He wasn't my cousin and I was never going to marry him," answered Sabrina.

"Yes, she was going to marry him," said the man in the trench coat. He got up and slowly walked across the room. "She would of too. So I launched a complaint to stop her from marrying farm boy."

Sabrina, Hilda and Zelda looked at each other. They zapped the trench coat off, to reveal Roland, standing up on stilts.

"I can't believe your still after me," said Sabrina. "I thought you finally decided to leave me alone."

"Leave my true love?" asked Roland.

"Leave and get lost," replied Sabrina.

"Order," said the judge. He rapped his gavel, and they all magically returned to their seats.

"Now, we'll hear from the complainant," said the Judge.

Roland's lawyer rose and gave his speech. How Sabrina had walked away from so many marriages, the court should stop her from breaking up another engagement by breaking it up for her.

Roland took the stand. "I knew it was love at first sight, so did she."

"I object," said Sabrina, Zelda, Hilda, Harvey and Salem.

"On what grounds?"

"I only wanted to find my biology notes," said Sabrina.

"Overruled," said the judge.

"Even though she was old when I met her," said Roland playing a violin, "I still loved her. And even if she is an old spinster, I still want to marry her. Even when she tried to marry all those other people."

"I object," said Hilda. "If Sabrina's old, I'd be ancient. I'm too young to be ancient. And Zellie is even older than me.

"Objection sustained," said the judge.

Next on the stand was Dr. Jacobs, Aaron's mother. She was under some type of spell because her answers were forced and monotonous. "Sabrina doesn't know what she wants," she said. "She needs years to find out exactly what she wants. I knew she was never good enough for Aaron."

"What are your qualifications?" asked the lawyer.

"I'm the best psychiatrist in Boston," she answered. She stuck to her line on cross-examination. Dr. Jacobs was sent home, and the prosecution rested.

"Looks good for us, Sabrina," said Roland, yelling as he left the court during recess. "How about a kiss," he yelled.

"How about I throw up," Sabrina answered.


	8. Battle plans

Chapter 8

Sabrina, her Aunt's, Harvey and Salem were busy coming up with their plan of action. "I know," said Aunt Hilda. "You and Harvey are soul mates, just like Will and me." She zapped up the soul stones they had left back in Westbridge. Zelda had put them into a jewelry box. "These will prove you were made for each other."

"Thanks Aunt Hilda. I can't believe I forgot all about them," said Sabrina.

"That won't work," said Salem.

"Salem's right," said Zelda. "You can't use soul stones as evidence in a hearing of the hesitating three. It's hearsay."

"Still, we can subtly hint at it," said Hilda.

"Hilda! That would be against the rules. The only thing we can do is what we're supposed to do. Sabrina, says how much she loves Harvey . . ."

"And vice versa," interrupted Hilda.

"As I was saying," continued Zelda. "We say how much we believe they're supposed to be together. Salem says how he approves of the relationship. Everything should go well, Sabrina, though I wish we could get some more people to testify for us."

"How about Irma?" asked Salem. "She approves of the marriage."

"Aunt Irma approves of a witch marrying a mortal?" Hilda and Zelda said simultaneously.

"She turned Aaron into a goldfish and gave me Sabrina's magic to get Sabrina to marry me," said Harvey.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," said Hilda, shivering. "I don't want to be dried fruit again."

"We can get along fine, without Aunt Irma," said Zelda.

"Of course we can," said Sabrina. "Aunt Zelda, Aunt Hilda, thank-you."

"With Irma it would be a sure thing," warned Salem.

"Come on Salem," said Sabrina. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Hilda and Zelda looked at each other.


	9. Trials and errors

Chapter 9

The first to take the stand was Sabrina. Like Zelda had told her too, she gave a long story of her relationship, being friends after they broke up, and realizing that she wasn't in love with Aaron, and who her true love was. "And that's why," answered Sabrina, sobbing dramatically, "I should be marrying my one, true love, Harvey."

"I can't believe you told her to put on that act," whispered Salem to Zelda.

"It isn't an act," answered Zelda. "Their her true feelings. Only for some reason she's exaggerating them. I wish I knew why."

"Don't look at me," Hilda hissed, when the other three looked at her. "I told her to make sure the judge knew she really meant it, not to act as if she wanted a role in Plan 9 From Outer Space."

On cross-examination, the lawyer drilled Sabrina on her relationship with Roland. Sabrina responded by saying she wanted Roland to take her clock radio instead of her, and that he had tried to win her since. The lawyer asked about her other fiances, Sabrina calmly responded how and why she broke up with them.

Next up was Hilda. "From the moment I saw those two together, I knew they were soul mates. Did I mention they were soul mates? Their soul stones fit together."

"Objection your honor," said Roland's lawyer. "Soul stones are hearsay evidence, and not admissible in court."

"Objection sustained," said the judge. "Zelda Spellman (who was conducting the defense), this is the fifth time your sister brought this up."

"It won't happen again, your honor," said Zelda, staring at Hilda.

Later on cross-examination, the lawyer asked, "Sabrina dated a lot of people, and almost married three. Do you really think she knows what she's doing this time?"

"Of course I do," snapped Hilda. "Sabrina's young, unmarried, she had a right to date. Besides, the important thing is she know's who she's in love with, her soul mate, their soul stones match you know."

"Objection . . ." started the lawyer.

"Sustained," the witch judge sighed.

"Gee, I can't believe they weren't impressed by the fact that Sabrina and Harvey are soul mates," said Hilda loudly, as she left the stand.

"Objection . . ." said Zelda.

"She's your client, and your sister," said the judge.

"That's what I object to," Zelda sighed, as Hilda frowned.

The next witness for the defense in Roland vs. Sabrina Spellman was Harvey Kinkle. Harvey awkwardly managed to give his testimony.

"I hate these trials," complained Salem to Sabrina.

"Why, because their meddlesome and unfair," said Sabrina, happily paying close attention to Harvey's testimony.

"No, because their always full of mush. Love at first sight, high school sweethearts, reunion, blech. My own trial and sentencing was easier on my stomach than this puke-fest."

"So far he's doing good," whispered Zelda, when she had finished her examination. "I just hope he doesn't flub cross-examination."

"You don't mean . . ." gasped Hilda.

"One wrong word and we're done for," said Zelda.

"Why did you break up with Sabrina?" asked Roland's lawyer.

"Oh no," said Zelda. "They did it. They asked him about that night."

"If he tells the court why we broke up," said Sabrina, "they'll never let the marriage go through."

"Harvey's not going to tell them he broke up with you because you were a witch," said Hilda.

"I . . . ah . . . don't really know why," said Harvey, on the witness stand, after a moment's thought.

"Your lying, you broke up with Sabrina because she's a witch."

"That isn't true," objected Harvey.

"Exhibit D," said the lawyer, zapping up a screen. It showed Hilda a few seconds ago, at the defense table. "Harvey's not going to tell them he broke up with you because you're a witch," she said, again.

"Soul stones are hearsay, yet that counts as evidence?" complained Sabrina.

The court, (Roland and the recording secretary) started mumbling and giving Harvey dirty looks. Roland had already been doing that, but now he made a special point of doing it.

"Order," said the Judge, also looking grimly at Harvey. "Continue, counsel," he muttered to the lawyer.

The lawyer asked him if he had dumped Sabrina for being a witch, again.

"It wasn't really like that," said Harvey. "I mean, the couple of years before I found out, I was turned into a dog, frog, made into a bowling pin, pregnant and tonnes of other stuff. That night, I ran a life or death obstacle course to save Sabrina. When I found out, I thought Sabrina had been turning me into stuff for fun, I didn't know the whole story behind it. When I found out the story, I regretted it."

Sabrina, Hilda, and Zelda beamed.

"But you told her you couldn't date a witch anymore," said the lawyer.

"Say no," thought Sabrina, Salem, Hilda and Zelda.

"Yes," said Harvey glumly.

"No further questions," said the lawyer.

"All's not lost," said Zelda to Sabrina. "We still have a good, fighting chance."

"I still haven't testified," said Salem.

"We're doomed, doomed," said Sabrina.

It was Salem's turn to testify. "I have, in my day, crossed many lovers in my path," said Salem, majestically, "but these two are very much in love, and I, with my great character, can witness to the fact that Sabrina and Harvey should wed. What is more, Sabrina will go ahead with the wedding, this time. As I recommended a few months ago, and as I recommended when she was still in high school. And hopefully, she will have the good sense . . . to serve fish at the reception.

"He's pretty good at making speeches," said Harvey to Sabrina. "Except that fish part at the end."

"Yeah," said Sabrina, "Salem's an expert at manipulation."

On cross examination, the lawyer asked, "Why are you serving a sentence as a cat?"

"Ah . . .," said Salem.

"You're the famous Salem Saberhagen. Would be Emperor of Earth," answered the lawyer, "Sentenced to a hundred years as cat."

"I did it purely for benevolent reasons," whined Salem.

"Have you been divorced three times, and do eight sushi restaurants have restraining orders placed on you?

"Ghe?" said Salem.

"Are you worthless as a witness?" asked the lawyer

Salem sobbed, as he was dismissed from the stand.

"Nice going, Salem," said Hilda sarcastically.

"I'll make it up," said Salem defensively, sobbing as he ran from the room in disgrace.

"That just leaves me," said Zelda. "Here to save the day as always."

Zelda took the stand. She went through the history of the past seven years in great detail, with visual aids. She analyzed Sabrina's relationships scientifically, with hypothesis, procedure, observations, and conclusion. In such great detail, that everybody in the room fall asleep. At 10:00 PM, she finished, with the statement, "That it may be scientifically proven that Sabrina and Harvey are right for each other, and the wedding will go ahead. And that this is irrefutable, so the court would be pleased to approve this marriage."

The judge struggled awake, "Counsel, would you wish to cross-examine the witness."

"No, your honor," the lawyer yawned. "Except to ask whether that gibberish had any relevance to the case."

Zelda literally stormed out of the room, before returning to the defense table. Salem, a moment later, rentered the room. "Wait your honor, the defense has one more witness."


	10. Irma indignant

Chapter 10

The room was suddenly subjected to sub-zero temperatures as snow and hail raged inside the penthouse suite. A white tornado appeared, and subsided, to reveal the figure of Aunt Irma. The blizzard subsided.

"Order," said the judge.

"Silence," said Irma icily to the court.

"Who are you?" asked Roland.

"Troll," said Irma, "Come fan me. It is much too hot in here." With that, she went to her throne of ice, that she zapped up beside the judge, and zapped up a peacock feather for Roland to fan her with. He reluctantly agreed.

"Is it my turn to testify?" asked Irma, cooly.

"Yes Irma, you may proceed."

"Well I would of anyway, but thank you your honor. Although I do not approve of mortals marrying witches, I approve of the wedding of Harvey and Sabrina. I said as much a month ago, but Sabrina couldn't see the wisdom of my advice, do to her obstinacy. When the court allows the marriage, I will not only make sure it takes place, but I will throw the wedding for the couple that I brung together."

"Counsel?" said the Judge to Roland's lawyer.

"No questions," said Roland's lawyer, nervously.

Irma zapped Roland, and his lawyer, out of the room.

"Well, Irma," said the judge, "Your knowledge is formidable, and if even your behind this marriage, there's no reason why it can't take place. Case dismissed." The judge rapped on his gavel, and he, the recording secretary, and the court disappeared, leaving Bugsy Sharper's penthouse the way it was. Except for the fact that Irma was sitting at Sharper's desk, on her throne of ice.

"Thanks Aunt Irma," said Sabrina gratefully.

"Silence," said Irma. "Harvey."

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"You were going to elope with Sabrina?"

"Yes, Irma."

"Sabrina," said Irma. "I am going to throw you, my favorite niece, a large other realm wedding at my castle. Since day after tomorrow is Friday the 13th, all your friends and family are invited. They'll go through the secret door to the other realm I prepared at the Westbridge Plaza Hotel. They won't even realize they're in the other realm"

"I think the kids would rather . . ." began Zelda.

"Silence," said Irma. "I don't just let everybody into my castle, it's a great sacrifice on my part. I do not charm up a feast fit for a thousand, or allow mortals or flowers in my palace, only to be rejected."

"And we're very grateful," said Hilda.

"Good," said Irma. "I will see all of you at the wedding." She vanished.

"Sabrina, Harvey" said Zelda, "We'll find a way for you to . . ."

"I'm okay with it, if Sabrina's okay with it." said Harvey. "It sounds sort of cool."

"When I said I wanted to elope, I didn't think it meant I would have family and friends at the wedding," said Sabrina, casually.

"It's simply not traditional," said Salem, imitating the woman at the diner.

"But it sort of sounds great, everything's going to go great, whoo-hoo," Sabrina finished.


	11. Left at the altar?

Chapter 11

Later, at the altar, Sabina told Harvey, "I'm so sorry Harvey, but we're not meant to be together. I can't marry you." She realized the truth. She told Harvey, that though he was a good friend, wasn't mature enough, smart enough, for her to truly love. Their relationship was a memory from high school, her past, not her future. Her cousin Amanda had placed a spell on the soul stones, making them fit together. They weren't meant to be.

"Sabrina," said Harvey, all but echoing Aaron. "I want you to be happy. If we weren't meant to be, we weren't meant to be."

Sabrina told the guests the wedding was off, to their surprise, shock, and Irma's anger. She ran out the door to the mortal realm, and out of the hotel, where Josh was waiting outside a taxi.

"Josh," she said, rushing to Josh, and kissing him, as they left in the taxi, never to return.

"Yaahhhhh," said Harvey, as he woke up, and sprang to his feet, fall out of bed, and tripped over the desk in his room. He realized he had just had a nightmare. Sabrina wasn't in love with Josh. It was later, but it was still early in the morning. "I'm glad no one saw me," he said, ruefully. "And that its me that Sabrina loves," he added thoughtfully, "Cool."

Sometime later in the Spellman house, all was going according to schedule under Zelda's careful watch. Morgan and Roxie were ready by 5:00 A.M., well before Hilda and her husband chose to arrive at 9:00 A.M.

"I can't believe you made me wake up so early," complained Morgan. "Did you think I was going to sleep in, forget something, or mess up everyone's plans."

"Morgan," said Roxie, "Last time you did sleep in, forget stuff, and help make a mess of everything."

"Luckily," said Morgan.

"Roxie, Morgan," said Zelda. "We only have four hours left, and we still have things to do. I still have to pick up my date."

"Hi Zellie," said Hilda, coming downstairs with the Conductor, "Running things like a police state, as usual."

"I am not running things as a police state," said Zelda, " I am . . ."

"Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, crisis," said Sabrina, from her room. They stopped their argument to rush for the rescue. Sabrina was sitting on her bed, with her feet in a steaming bucket of water. Salem was watching, amused.

"My feet!" said Sabrina. "They're boiling hot and burning."

"Oh, how wonderful, honey," said Zelda.

"I knew it," said Hilda.

"I told her it was nothing to worry about," said Salem.

"What do you mean?" asked Sabrina.

"If your feet are burning on your wedding day, as mine were," said Hilda, "It means you know your doing the right thing."

"It's the opposite of cold feet," Salem put in. "Having hot feet is a popular expression in the other realm, it never caught on here though."

"They should cool off in a few minutes, Sabrina," said Zelda.

"Interesting," said Sabrina. "But, somehow, I feel reassured. Even if I get third degree burns." Sabrina wasn't happy about the hot feet, but she was happy she felt happy instead of nervous. This time she had no doubts.

"Oh, by the way Sabrina," said Hilda. "Doubt came over to see me this morning. Sais he's not coming to the wedding, he's doubtful whether it'll be appropriate considering there's notdoubt its meant to be."

"I don't doubt Doubt had no doubt your doing the right thing this time," added Zelda.


	12. An icy reception

Chapter 12

Irma's castle was made of ice. It was in the Polar Sector of the other realm, north of the Northern Sector. The hall where the wedding was being held had been heated for the mortal guests, and decorated the way Sabrina would of wanted it.

"How do you like it?" said Irma to Hilda and Zelda. "I placed a make the reception the way Sabrina would like it spell on it. Just for the wedding, of course."

"It's beautiful," said Zelda. Irma left.

"Maybe," said Hilda. "But it's in the sort of place only Mr. Freeze could love. And the place expectant mothers could freeze to death."

"Where's Will?" asked Zelda.

"Oh, he's getting us some ice water. Where's your date. I can't believe your going steady so soon after growing up again."

"He's an old flame. I realized we broke up under silly circumstances, and now we're going together again.

"Who is he?" said Will, returning.

"Me," said Principal Willard Kraft, to Hilda's dismay. She froze Mr. Craft.

"What's wrong, Hilda?" asked Will.

"How could you bring him to Sabrina's wedding?" Hilda asked Zelda.

"Aunt Irma invited him. Anyway, Sabrina is happy I'm happy. She says as long as she doesn't have to live with Mr. Kraft, she wishes us the best."

"Are we talking about the same Sabrina?" said Hilda. "Wait, that's right, we don't live together anymore. Willard'll, at worst, just be one of those annoying cousins who I have to visit once in a while. Like Cousin Monte. Zelda, I hope everything works out."

"Thanks Hilda," Zelda said patiently, unfreezing Willard.

"How nice to see you," said Hilda to Willard.

"It's great to see you to Hilda, I hear your married. Congratulations. Zuzu said I ought to get you and Sabrina a presents, so here you are."

"Why, thank you," said Hilda, thinking she had misjudged Willard. She ripped open the envelope he had given her. "A $49 gift certificate," she said, "for . . . free T.V dinners."

"Wouldn't know where I'd be without them."

"I think they have a new corn dog T.V. dinner," said Will.

"Great," said Hilda.

Later, Hilda, Will, Zelda, Willard, Sabrina's mother, her Aunt Vesta, and the Quizmaster, were sitting in the same row, watching the ceremony. "Who are the bridesmaids," asked Hilda, to Zelda, who was sitting next to her.

"Jenny, Valerie, Dreama, Amanda, Morgan, and Roxie. Valerie's the maid of honor because she came in from Alaska, and Roxie or Morgan wouldn't carry a tree down the isle. Dreama's knows better than to be a maid of honor at an other realm wedding."

"How did Sabrina react when she found out it was going to be a traditional other realm wedding," asked Hilda.

"With horror," said Zelda. "Until I told her that we're a different denomination, and that we have a gold ring, not a wrestling ring, and we give rings, not exchange fingers. She was pretty happy that the bride and groom kiss, and the bride only shakes hands with the bridesmaid."

"Is Harvey going to wear the traditional suit of armor?" asked Vesta, joining the conservation. "Or is he going to go with the contemporary other realm uniform. I forgot to ask, Edward said he'd handle it."

"I don't think he's going to wear the suit of armor, not with all these mortals here." said Zelda (Mr. Kraft was asleep). "Even with the everything looks normal spell. Harvey's mortal, so he can't wear any other realm uniform. He's wearing some sort of uniform though." Hilda and Zelda looked to the front of the hall, Harvey was dressed in some strange combination of hockey uniform, tuxedo, and a prince's helmet.

"Dude, why are you dressed like that?" asked Brad, the best man.

"Tradition," said Harvey.

"What the," suddenly, he gained the hypnotic appearance of someone under a spell, " . . . okay." His eyes returned to normal. "What was I saying?" he asked.

"Forget it," said Harvey.

"I get it," said Zelda, studying the situation.

"Explain," said Hilda.

"He's the Termite Prince, that explains the helmet, the boots and the gloves. Hockey's recognized by the other realm as legitimate combat, that explains the jersey."

"And the tux must be so he doesn't look too stupid," answered Hilda.

"That's right," said Zelda. "Though I can't see how he could look stupider."

"Ask Mr. Pool," said Hilda. "He's wearing a kilt."

"Or poor Miles," said Zelda. "He's freezing, even though he's wearing a coat, scarf, and tuque. Or Mrs. Quick, she's wearing a parka."

Hilda zapped the area where Miles and Mrs. Quick were sitting, making it warmer for them than the rest of the people in the rest of room. She looked around, "Where's Salem?"

"He couldn't be best man, or minister, so he's the organist again," said Zelda.

"Is Aunt Irma going to officiate at this wedding?" asked Vesta.

"No," said Zelda. "She's just going to watch to see if the minister makes any mistakes."

They looked up at the minister, as the wedding began to the tune of the other realm wedding march. The bridesmaid, bride, and father of the bride proceeded to the altar. Valerie struggled with the tree, which was mercifully small.

"How's this Sabrina," she asked, when she finished carrying the tree. "I hope I didn't make a fool of myself," she said, worried.

"That's great, Valerie," said Sabrina. "You can still blow up the balloon, can you?"

"Sure, . . . I . . . can," said Valerie doubtfully. She managed to do it anyway.

"Is this how all other realm weddings are?" Diane, Sabrina's mother, asked Zelda.

"This is actually pretty plain by other realm standards," said Zelda.

They watched as the wedding proceeded to the "dearly beloved's," and then to "If anyone has any reason for this wedding not to take place, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

"Freeze," said Zelda, freezing everybody except Hilda, and Irma, who was frost proof.

Libby had come into the room and ran up the isle. "I object to Harvey marrying this freak," she said. She noticed that everyone in the room was silent and frozen, and Harvey's misfit clothes. "Ew, look what renewed exposure to Sabrina has done to you," she said to the frozen figure. "Dressed in freaks clothes, and at a freak wedding where you stand around like statues. In some building that looks as if it was designed by the Queen of the super freaks herself, Sabrina."

"Silence," said Irma, glaring at Libby, and lifting her finger to turn her into a . . . ;

Zelda zapped Libby first, out somewhere into the lobby of the Westbridge Hotel. Libby fainted, and didn't come to until after the wedding had ended, and everyone had left.

"On with the wedding," commanded Irma, unfreezing time.

"Then with the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife," said the minister. "You may now kiss the bride." Sabrina and Harvey, never knowing what had just passed, kissed.


	13. The end at last

Chapter 13

"That was the best wedding I've been to in a long time," said Hilda to Zelda, as she, Salem and Zelda, put together a jigsaw puzzle, for old time sakes, late that night, in the Spellman kitchen.

"Yes," said Zelda, crying. It was contagious, because Hilda started crying to, followed by Salem.

"If you're so happy, why are we crying," sobbed Salem, after awhile.

"I don't know," said Hilda, "But I know what always helps for happiness, always helped here, always helps at home."

"What's that, Hilda?" Zelda asked, through her tears.

"Flon," said Hilda.

"That's just what we need," said Zelda.

"Zap it up," said Salem. "Doo it."

Hilda zapped up some Flon. They dug in.

The End


End file.
